Do you ever just have so much on your mind, so much you could write about, that it just fills you up? Ha, thats how I feel tonight. So where to start....
Hmm, yesterday and today I did slightly better being conscious about what I was stuffing my face with, but at the same time I feel like I need to be MORE SO. I need to literally start measuring out portion sizes. Soo, this week I did the pop thing, next week its literally measuring out my food.
I miss Wilderness. I miss the people from there, I miss the silence, I miss paddling, I miss Saunas, I just miss it all. I think part of that is due to the fact that I didn't go up there once this summer. Part of me just felt like I didnt belong up there or something when I went up the previous summer, most of it was the fact that there was just a lot going on in my life this past summer. Part of it is the fact that I don't have the priorities in my life straight. But lately, I just have this ache to go back up there. I think of how much the people and the time I spent up there changed my life, and really shaped who I am. I feel like I have lost so much of what I had gained, that I let things slip. I started to go back into some of the ways I had that I didn't really like about myself, I stopped trusting in God, stopped trusting in myself. I am a happy person, but there are parts of me that I so want to shape still. Luckily I am working at it everyday! I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life who are there to be a shoulder to cry on, people to laugh with, pray with, share in times of celebration with. Go me.
I did say that I wanted a place to be random and raw and I guess thats what this is. If you are reading it and bearing through it then you pretty much rock. I feel like I need a joke to lighten this up. I promise they won't always be heavy ;) Stick with me!
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